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Holiday stress.

We bring it on ourselves.  It’s like a recipe for disaster.

1 pinch anxiety

2 cups of expectations

3 Tblsp disorganization

1 tsp procrastination

Add all ingredients together and roll into massive stress ball.

 

My Christmas this year was the most unorthodox we have ever had and It Was The Absolute BEST!  Let me lay it out for you in an easy to follow Essential guide to a Stress free Holiday…next year!

Start Early!

It’s January and the holidays are behind us but the stores are filled with marked down Christmas goods.  January also seems to be the time for Organization (hence big sales on plastic totes and shelving), as well as the obligatory New Year,New you.

Drag your ass down to the Big box stores and load up on gift wrap, cards, ribbons, stocking stuffers etc, at a lovely 70% to 90% off and store them in your new shiny tote.  Mark the tote so you don’t forget it in 12 months. Start your Gift tracker to remember who you have already bought for.  You may use this free printable to your hearts content!

Where you a bit sparse on decor or lights? What about tree ornaments.  Same thing – go get them now.

Budget!

Before we go any further – nothing succeeds unless it was planned for.  You need a road map of what you want to see happen, how much you will be OK spending and a budget to ensure you achieve these goals. Read “How to have a Debt Free Christmas” for more help on budgeting.

Let me tell you right now – that list of people to shop for. Throw that away.  This is you trying to prove to people who a) should love you regardless or b) don’t really matter that much, that you are an awesome person; thoughtful gift giver; worlds best daughter-in-law / aunt / sister.  These are your perceived expectations – not theirs.  So now you have to ask yourself “Why do I do this to myself?”

I swear to you, your Aunts neighbour’s cousin who said Hello to you last year at the Church social DOES NOT NEED A GIFT FROM YOU.

This may seem a little far fetched but there are people like this out there.  Don’t be that person.  Look at your list SERIOUSLY for a minute.  Are you able to round up the “Outliers”, send them all a card wishing them the best and informing them that you have purchased a Goat/ bike/ school supplies in their name for kids who need it?  I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t LOVE that.  Of course you send as many cards as you need but you only buy as many goats/ bikes, etc as you have budgeted for and if that is just one, then so be it.  The village that gets the Goat isn’t going to judge you and the people in categories A and B either love you or their opinions won’t affect you because they don’t really matter.

Do not use Credit!  That’s all I will say on that.

 

Stay away from the shops!

For those special people that you really need to get something great for, wait until Black Friday / cyber Monday week and then shop online. Many of the stores have great discounts AND free shipping.  Use a discount site like Ebates.

If you sign up and log into Ebates you can then shop in Ebay, Old Navy, Sephora, etc and your goods are delivered directly to you with a cash back thrown in, on top of the reduced prices. Pants optional shopping.  What’s not to love?

The added beauty of avoiding the stores (apart from PEOPLE.. ugh!) is that you are not seduced by the gorgeously festive displays of tat that catch the eye and bewitch the senses.  Store merchandisers are in their element at Christmas! Their sole reason for getting out of bed in the morning is to tempt you into buying something you don’t need and they’re GOOD at it.

Putting up the decorations.

You will probably HATE this one but trust me.  As soon as we have shown our respects on Remembrance Day, UP go the outside lights and outdoor decor.  Now – we don’t switch them on until December but here on the Wet Coast, the weather can turn on a dime and who wants to be trying to put up that lot in a monsoon or at 40 below?  No Thank You!

This year we invested in a beautiful artificial tree because I don’t want the hassle of the ornaments falling off as the tree dies and droops. I don’t want the hassle of cleaning pine needles everyday and I don’t want to wrestle the dead thing out (plus all the extra clean up that accompanies that little fiasco every year) of the lounge and into the yard.

December 6th – tree is up and dressed. House looks festive inside and out. First bottle of Baileys has been demolished. It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Mountains of food.

We know we will want extra “goodies” to enjoy at Christmas but we budget to only spend $200 a week on groceries for our family of four, so how do we indulge during the holidays.  EASY.  From when school goes back to Dec 22nd (ish) we pick up a $10 grocery store card with every grocery shop and we keep them until our Christmas week food shop. We don’t miss $10 a week and by Dec 22nd there’s an extra $150 – $200 to splurge with.

This leads me to..

Holiday baking.

You may be burdened (is that the right word?) with extra tasks at Yuletide like cookies and mince pies.  Here’s the Martin family 411:  Presidents choice choc chip cookie dough is the real deal and takes 20 minutes. Ready made pastry and a jar of mincemeat tastes just as good as homemade mince pies, plus they’re easy to make look like authentic home baked goods.  Stop pandering to “Grandmas special recipe” people.  Grandma was a wise woman – she got her cookie dough ready made too, she just hid the wrappers well.

The Family Dinner.

Opting out.  We DO NOT DO a BIG sit down dinner on any of the days of Christmas.  For one, we don’t like turkey but for many years we tried to find suitable alternatives to the obligatory Turkey sit down.  Thanksgiving was just over – haven’t you had enough Turkey?

Now we have such a delightful repast we wouldn’t do it any other way.

Every member of the family can bring (or request) one dish for the dinner table.  This year we had roast lamb with mint sauce (Hubster), Butter chicken with Bombay potatoes (Daughter), Ribs and cream puffs (Son) and a Charcuterie board (Moi) .  Everyone was represented. Everyone was happy.

This year we also indulged in going out for dinner on Christmas Eve.  Chinese food for the win!

For many years the tradition has been a trip to the cinema followed by food because the kids were young and (too) excited for Santa.  With hubster being a chef I was technically a Christmas widow; left alone to deal with two hyperactive cherubs so, making them sit still for two hours whilst being delighted by young Mr. Potter, etc seemed like a very reasonable way to have a time out and save my sanity.  Now that they are (almost) too old for Christmas we are building new traditions that fit with their grown up status and cater to their need for just a little magic still.

The Meaning of Family.

For three days (minimum) we invite no one over and we accept no invitations. That includes immediate family. Don’t be shocked.

From Christmas Eve through Boxing Day it’s just us. The people who matter most.  We play, we laugh, we chill, we watch movies.  Pants are optional for the full three days although washing is not. Expectations to load up the car and drive through the Holiday traffic are left behind.  Carols play, the fire is lit, people are content.

Did you ever consider the person “hosting” might like a break like the one I’m describing?  Funnily enough – everyone respects our wishes and no one judges us for our choices because we only surround ourselves with category A people – they love us regardless (or because of.. I’m not sure).

Take stock – is it really imperative to load the kids in the car on Christmas day; to brave the weather, the roads, the interaction with people you haven’t spoken to since last years gathering (category b)?  The kids want to be left to play with their new things, video games, make up brushes. They could care less about Grandma’s feelings or famous turkey dinner  because they just saw her at the weekend and didn’t we have a big Turkey dinner at Grandma’s a couple of weeks ago?  Let it go.

If God features in your Christmas then by all means – make time to attend a service but don’t feel obligated to go to Midnight Mass on Christmas eve (although that’s my favorite). Your God loves you 365 not just at Christmas.  Light some lovely candles at home and remember people fondly while you relax surround by the ones you love the most.

Laughter – the greatest gift.

This year we chose a very inappropriate card game that had us laughing until the tears streamed (my kids are young adults now and I don’t do Judgement).  We enjoyed a glass or two of mimosa, played our card game, then settled down to watch them play their new video game (amazing graphics and a great story line… I was enthralled).  Boxing day was a repeat of Christmas day.

Stay away from other peoples expectations.  If your ideal is Beans on toast in your PJ’s watching Love Actually then make that happen.  It’s the choices you make that define the outcomes.

The Final word.

Paper plates!

 

That is all.

 

XO

Anna